Wedding planning tips!!

Pre-wedding period is often the most stressful for the family and especially the bride. It has been raining weddings and I was playing the agony-aunt cum am-always-there-for-you-friend cum advisor cum what-not to my best friend. Like any other would-be bride she was palpitating (and how) a few weeks before her engagement. It was then I wrote a long, and I mean a really L-O-N-G mail to her with the sole intention of helping her and making her smile. It worked! She was quite impressed and the post is a result of that. So here goes – for all you would-be-gorgeous-brides!!

 If you are from a middle class family, lived your life like any other independent, normal girl with a mind of her own AND are getting married in a metropolitan city, this post is for you!

 So here is how we go about it-

Part I: Decide on what kind of wedding do you want. Some options:

1.  Simple wedding, grand reception at different venues
2. Simple wedding (Only family and close friends) followed by an immediate reception at same venue (more people invited for the reception)
3. Wedding in the morn, reception in the evening
4. Run-of-the-mill wedding where you either go to the Himalayas, or the Registrar’s office or any other place and get married (then you may not find much of this post useful)

Expert Speaks: In my view, it’s cheaper to book a hall for an entire day than booking two different venues. Only exception is if it’s a temple/church wedding.

Please Note: The kind of wedding you chose is subject to various factors such as - Muhurat, decision of both families, hall availability, Pundits’ opinion etc. Oh yes, your opinion too but trust me amidst all the views, the best you can do is express your choice to one trust-worthy family member, stay away and watch the discussion unfold.

Part II: Usually, you will have a few dates and you have to pick out ONE day.

Points to consider while choosing the date:

1. You should not be chumming - forget religion, it’s just uncomfortable!
2. Make a list of the number of relatives. Please be practical. If you are low on budget, cut down few people from the guest-list. Considering family cannot be cut, it has to be not-so-close-friends and business contacts
3. You have the date, you have the number. Let your dad, uncle, brothers/ cousin go and check halls. You can go if you want to, but you will be needed for other things (which I shall list down below).

In case the male counterparts are confused on HOW do you chose a hall, kindly enlighten them with these tips:

1. Choose a venue closer to YOUR place since the bride always takes longer time to get ready and its best if you won’t have to travel long distance on your big-day! (Check if your would-be in-laws are ok with this)
2. Note down what options you have and have someone go or you and your better-half can check the shortlisted venues when you get the time.
3. Write down all costs including decorators, food, music etc
4. Compare and decide what suits your pockets and your sensibilities the best.

Part III: Mostly loved and at times dreaded word – Shopping! Here is what you have to do:

Check your cupboard thoroughly and list down the clothes you will take to your New-home. Trust me; you do not need everything new!

Expert Speak: Keep your clothes count considering the fact that you will be gifted clothes by friends and few relatives, your in-laws in all probability will keep some clothes for you. So don’t overdo your shopping!
Now comes the shopping bit. Once you have a list - you need to start shopping. So while the men can look at halls, you will be trying out clothes, checking sarees, and getting your trousseau ready. This will consume most of your weekends.

Expert Speak: Please make sure you don’t look the same for all the functions. Experiment between salwar suits, sarees, dresses or even a dhoti kurta! Look different and the BEST on your important day!

Part IV: The wedding card!

Expert Speak: You have cards ranging from Rs10/ per card to Rs 200/ per card in a city like Mumbai. Be very practical - no one keeps the card for another 10 years, not even 10 months. Choose a cheaper but good card that will make you smile when you see it!

Part V: Honeymoon location....easy tip?

Leave it to your better-half to figure out - trust me these grooms have nothing else to do!  ;)

Jokes apart, decide on the budget, and book your tickets - the earlier the better! Always, pack your honeymoon clothes and other bags separately so that you won’t have to reach your in-laws place and unpack!!

Part VI: Remember:

1. Cost cutting tips: Depending on you, you can cut either your shopping list, go for a simpler wardrobe, have a low-profile Mehandi and sangeet, cut guest list, and do whatever else comes to your mind!
2. YOU CANNOT impress everyone -please get it straight and accept it...the sooner you do, easier it will be. It’s a wedding, someone will complain, some will be sad, some happy....Let GO and enjoy yourself!
3. You are NOT getting married to impress anyone else, so if someone has an opinion on what you should wear/ have worn, what the groom should have done and didn’t do , where you should go for Honeymoon etc - SMILE and show them your middle finger! Everyone you meet will have opinions - the deal is to remain unruffled!!
4. There will be difference of opinion - both within the family and between both families, but then again that's what marriage teaches you - to compromise. No one person will have his/her way - there will be a newfound route which you shall discover and trust me you will look back, smile and feel silly thinking WHAT all went into it!
5. Mothers may be possessed during these periods. Kindly learn the art of subtle ignoring.
6. Fathers may also get possessed - stay CALM!
7. Siblings tend to be normal - phew! .
8. Pray when you wake up and before sleeping - it helps!
9. Happily outsource your work to all your girlfriends, sisters and your loved ones who will be happy to help.
10. MOST IMPORTANTLY – Believe in the love that you receive, cherish it and smile at all times!!

 

For the sister I never had, and the one I found in you!

I remember the time my mother was pregnant with my brother and I would loudly announce to anyone who cared to listen how I want a baby sister to play with. The fact that it was a baby brother was definitely no disappointment for me. Brothers are awesome in their own way and no one, I mean just NO ONE can ever replace them.

As I was growing up, I was lucky enough to have close girlfriends in my growing years who have been like true-blood sisters to me. I have seen, experienced and believe in the power of womanhood. From my mother to my closest girl-pals, I have been very lucky to have these special women in my life. Here is a small dedication to all of them and to my mother, without whose support and guidance I would not have survived the perils of everyday life. 

A magical word of touch,

An understanding nod,

The glint in her eye

That made me smile…

Those words that soothed my soul,

The hand that wiped my tears,

The look that held me right,

The glint in her eye

That made me smile…

The palm that caressed my forehead,

The ears that heard me with no complaints,

The look that said ‘I care’,

Those words of wisdom that stirred my soul,

The glint in her eye

That made me smile…….

The lips that spoke those trusted words,

The heart that cared like no one does,

The faith I have in each one of you,

It’s this power of woman-hood that makes me write!

 Oh! The glint in her eye

Those have always made me smile…..

An apology letter!!

My dear Thoughts Undefined, It’s with extreme guilt I write to you. Ever since I conceived you in the month of March, in 2010, I have always taken good care of you -until last year. It’s been more than a year that I have ignored you and I admit am guilty of the same. I should have known better than to leave a small, lovable baby unattended in this cruel world. So what are my excuses you may ask? Well, nothing much to talk of…….it’s been almost 4 months of shadi shudha life, and another 8 months of errr…… I was chasing the mundane, trying to do things, change in job so on and so forth.

No, this is not any excuse for ignoring you my dear child and I am deeply ashamed of this unpardonable act. I hereby solemnly promise to update you with “all faces of my life” with renewed gusto henceforth.

Seeking your forgiveness,

Yours truly,

The blog writer!!

Happy New Year!!

So its the 2nd day of a brand New Year! Though I wanted to update my dear blog yesterday, keeping up with the spirits of a fresh begining; I couldn't do so! And since I am in no mood to rant WHY....lets leave it at that!

So here, I am in my office, boss on leave & me updating my blog! :P 1st working day of the year should be relaxing & chilled out - I strongly suggest this!

2011 has been a year of ups & downs, like all years have been; but 2012......now this is something I am looking forward to with a lot of anticipation, nervousness, exitement and apprehension!!

May all you readers have a blessed year ahead! Cheers to a fresh new begining! :)

The pleasure of Nothing! :)

It was one of my annual trips to Kerala – God's own country as they call it; my own land as I believe it is. I always attributed my strong attachment to kottayam, the place I was born, to my cousins, aunts, my grandmother, the temples etc. But this was one trip that made it all look different – very different indeed.


It has probably got to do with an overdose of the city-life. Living in Mumbai is not easy – its not that I mind the fast-moving pace of this place but what I do mind is the fact that it’s too mechanical. Now, “mechanical” may not be the apt word to describe this city but that is how I feel now after my leisure trip to my birth place! At any given day, there is an overdose of work and there are times when I have felt that there is no time for anything you would want to do – even if it is to just sit and watch the world go by!


And this is exactly what I did in Kerala – NOTHING! And I cannot describe in sufficient words the pure thrill of not doing anything, watching the rain, running on wet grass, seeing the sun set, hear the temple bell, hear the morning and evening chants there, hog to your heart’s content, idle gossip, read a good book with no disturbance, to sleep like a baby, breathe fresh air (YES!!), the calm cool breeze which lifts your spirits, the grandma stories that go beyond ages and centuries, listening to age-old family jokes and laughing like you have heard it the first time – the list is endless!!

The simple pleasures of life which eludes you in the hustle and bustle of a city can be thoroughly enjoyed in my native land. It’s not for nothing Kerala is named God’s own country. It most definitely is.  I fervently pray that it stays the way it is – untouched by the madness and ruthlessness of the city life, unscathed by the over population and the pollution, unhurt by the mayhem of everyday life. May it always remain the way it is – like a slow-moving dream which is far yet not too far for me!

The Rhapsody of Reflection!

It is a popular belief that – “You get what you deserve" and “What is yours will come to you”. But time and again, I wonder why is that you don’t know WHY on earth you are going through certain experiences? And what good does it do to you? Wouldn’t life have much more simpler if only we knew the answer to the question – WHY!!! No matter how much you sit, think and reflect on these instances, it always boils down to the why of it! 

Even then, the lesser mortals we are, we do keep pondering over so many things that happen with us, around us. Is there any point in these thoughts? Not that we are going to find any answers, then why rack those grey cells! The beauty of life is to accept it the way it is. I do not personally agree with the ones who say that one must accept things with a smile; it may not be possible to control your emotions (and smiling, is a great option though not always easy to execute!) but accept you must. For that is one thing we do not have much choice in! Reflect – on yourself, on what happens around you but don’t overdo it, Just like you need good, sensible lyrics, good rhythm and beautiful melody to create a “complete song”, you need many experiences to make the “complete you”!

As the lyrics of a song I heard goes - 

"Burning with desire,

Its what you take from me patiently,

So burn all your bridges and learn,

That its the only way your voice can be heard"

So folks! Learn, share, grow!!!! :) 

It is never easy!

Once a little girl sat by the sea side,

Tossing the sea shells to where they belong,

Hot, angry tears streaming down her face

Her mind wandering, never wishing to be found again. 

She spoke to the waves,

She spoke to the clouds,

She uttered words of frustration clutching the sand;

She spoke through her tears,

She spoke through her eyes,

Her tears illuminating the setting sun

Leaving a parallel world behind.

And then she heard a voice soft

Caressing her soul, the voice spoke -

“I never told you it will be easy my child,

All I said was I shall try;

Never did I promise you the moon

This is how you learn the journey of life

Smile a bright smile and welcome the dawn

For your heart knows things you would never know”

Smiling, her legs began a walk,

Wondering where her heart will beckon her now………..